Coping
by SapphireDuchess
Summary: Harry hasn't quite been able to cope with Sirius' death. Fluffy Drarry. T for mature themes.


**Hey guys! This is my first fanfic so please bear with me. I will try to post more chapters soon so feel free to post a review and let me know what you think! Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer**: No matter how much I wish I was, I am not nor will I ever be J.K. Rowling. So you know what that means!

"Potter! Can't you even brew a simple Cure for Boils? Are you really that big of an idiot? You're even more incompetent than your father!" Harry winced as Snape yelled at him. As if it wasn't bad enough that Sirius had died at the end of last year, but the Dursleys were worse than ever. Not only did Harry have to deal with the constant torment from Dudley, but also his uncle had taking to hitting him. If Harry so much as looked at Dudley funny, Vernon would beat Harry until he was barely conscious. Harry would try to escape the pain by sleeping. But once he was asleep he was forced to relive Sirius' death over and over. Every morning he would wake up more tired than when he went to bed. One night he just couldn't take it anymore. Once everyone was asleep he suck into the bathroom and grabbed one of Vernon's razors. Slowly with tears in his eyes, he made a slash across his wrist. He made cut after cut until the razor was covered with blood. Harry grabbed a towel, held it to his wrist, and took the razor back to his room. Drained, he fell into a dreamless sleep. Harry cut every night for the rest of the summer.

When the time came for him to go back to Hogwarts, he was grateful for the long sleeves on his outer robes. They helped him avoid the questions and worries that would surely follow if his friends saw his scars. He didn't want them to worry about him. Especially since Ron and Hermione were just starting to get together. They deserved to be happy. "Potter! Pay attention! No wonder you can't brew a simple potion." Snape's voice brought him back to the present. Harry shrunk under the Snape's glare, and he kept his head down for the rest of Potions. Harry kept to himself on the walk to the Great Hall. Ron and Hermione eventually stopped trying to pull him into the conversation. "Oi, you okay mate?" said Ron. Harry replied, "Yeah I'm just tired. I had a lot of stuff on my mind last night." Hermione looked at him with a worried expression, "Is it about Sirius?" Harry shook his head, "No, I just have a lot of stuff going on." When they reached the Great Hall, Harry turned and said, "I have to go to the library. I'll catch up with you guys later." Before Hermione could protest, he walked off in the direction of the library. Once he got to the library, Harry went of to the section that he had recently become very familiar with. When he got there, he reached for the book that he needed. Just as he started pulling it off the shelf he heard a sharp voice behind him. "Oi, Potter! What book is that?" Harry turned to see Draco Malfoy standing behind him. Draco reached over and snatched the book off the shelf. Leering at Harry, Malfoy said, "Having trouble dealing with your parents death Potter? Is that why you need a book about coping with death? You know you'd think you'd be over it by now, seeing as they've been dead since you were a little boy." Harry tried to grab the book back, " Give it back you git!" Malfoy just pulled the book back and held it above his head. "Can't reach it now? Can you Potter?" Harry jumped up and grabbed the book, but now before his sleeves fell, giving Draco a full view of Harry's scars. Harry quickly pulled his sleeves down and ran out of the library, leaving Draco with a shocked expression.

Harry ran back to the Gryffindor tower. He couldn't believe what had happened. Malfoy saw his scars! Harry fought back tears as he thought of what would happen next. Malfoy would spread it around the whole school until everybody thought he was some crazy, depressed kid. Then his friends and his teachers would all worry about him and everyone else would avoid him as if his depression was contagious. Harry stopped before he got to the Fat Lady. He reached into his robe pocket and grabbed the blade he had put in there. He turned and walked to the nearest bathroom. Once he knew he was alone, he sank to the floor and broke down. He cried for his mom and his dad. He cried for Sirius. He cried for all the worry and pain he has caused his friends. He cried for all the people that were dead because they defended him. He cried until he didn't think he could cry anymore. When he was done crying he pulled out the blade and rolled up his sleeve. He began to cut. The first one was light, just barely nicking the surface. But as he continued to cut each one became deeper and deeper. He became so engrossed in his task that Harry didn't notice that the door to the bathroom had opened. He didn't notice Draco walk in. Draco saw what Harry was doing and he rushed over. "Harry! If you go any deeper you'll kill yourself!" Harry just looked up and said, with his voice full of the pain from years of torment and hurt, "What do you care Malfoy? What if I want to die? I deserve it after all the pain I've put people through. All I do is hurt people! My parents are dead because of me! Sirius is dead because of me! People I don't even know are dying because of me! How am I supposed to live knowing that they lost their lives protecting me?" Draco knelt beside Harry, "Listen to me Harry. You are the bravest kid I know. You have gone through so much more than anyone your age should have to go through. You are so strong to have gone through it and stayed sane. I know I couldn't have. And Weasley the red haired blunder certainly couldn't have. You have to live. If you don't want to live for yourself, live for me. I cannot tell you how long I've looked up to you. Ever since you won your first Quidditch game, I've admired you." Harry's eyes shined with tears, "Really? You look up to me?" Draco nodded, "Really. Come on, let's get you cleaned up." With that Draco pulled out his wand, he conjured up a towel and a roll of bandage. Gently Draco pressed the towel to Harry's forearm. Harry watched as Draco tended to him. Is it really possible for him to care about me like that? Am I really someone that can be admired? And what about him? Do I care about him too? All these thoughts raced through Harry's head as Draco wrapped the bandage around Harry's arm.

Draco stood up and Harry whispered, "Thank you." Draco turned and helped Harry up, "You're welcome. Now come one, we aren't done talking." Confused, Harry let Draco lead him away. Draco led Harry to the Room of Requirement and walked right in. The room had furnished itself with two leather couches next to a roaring fire. Draco walked over and sat on one of the couches, "Well? Are you going to just stand there or are you going to come in?" Harry walked in and sat on the couch across from Draco. Harry jumped right in and asked, "So what was it that you wanted to talk about?" Draco just shrugged, " How about you tell me what made you start cutting?" Harry took a deep breath; he never thought he would tell anyone, let alone Malfoy. But here he was sitting across from Draco, who was treating him like a friend. "It's a long story." Draco pulled his knees to his chest and said, "I've got time." Harry took another deep breath and started to explain everything. He told him about Sirius' death and how devastating it was. He told Draco about the abuse at the Dursleys. He told him about how he didn't like anyone getting hurt on his account. He told Draco everything. And Draco listened. Draco didn't butt in; he didn't say anything when Harry paused to wipe away his tears. Draco didn't speak until Harry was done. When Harry finished it was Draco's turn to take a deep breath. He had no idea how horrible Harry's life was. Draco wasn't sure what he thought Harry's life was like but he sure hadn't expected this. And yet, hearing all the pain and suffering Harry had been through only made Draco care about him more. Draco wanted to protect Harry. He didn't want anyone to be able to harm him ever again.

Just then, Draco realized just how deep his admiration of Harry was. He realized why he had always looked up to Harry. It was because Draco was in love with him.

Draco looked up at Harry who was watching him intently. All Draco could say was, "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." Harry just looked at him and said, "It's not like there's anything you can do about it." Draco replied, "You know, you could always come stay with me. Now that my father is in Azkaban my mother is much nicer. I don't think she would mind." Harry just shook his head. "I don't want to cause any trouble for you or your mother. I'm pretty sure Voldemort wouldn't be too happy about me staying in your house. But thanks for the offer." The boys sat in silence for a moment. Suddenly Harry started laughing. Confused and a bit offended, Draco asked, "What's so funny?" Harry smiled, "I just find it funny that a day ago we were enemies but now here we are, sitting and talking like friends. I mean you just offered to let me stay at your house." Draco couldn't help but return Harry's smile. It was the first time since the school year began, and Draco was ecstatic that he was the reason. Harry couldn't help but think how amazing Draco looked when he smiled. The boys locked eyes, neither of them wanting to look away from the other's twinkling eyes. After what seemed like an eternity, they broke eye contact and began to talk again and get to know each other better. They spoke of things like their favorite school subject, their favorite Quidditch team, and their favorite foods. They were so comfortable around each other that no one would have ever suspected that they had been enemies ever since their first year at Hogwarts. They talked and talked until Harry fell asleep. Draco, not wanting to wake him, grabbed a blanket from the closet and gently tucked Harry in. Draco watched the boy as he slept. All the sudden Harry stated whimpering and tossing and turning. It was the reoccurring nightmare of Sirius' death. Draco got up and knelt beside Harry. Gently, he began to smooth Harry's hair while he spoke softly to the distressed boy. Draco told Harry how much he cared about him. Gradually Harry's nightmare receded, leaving in its place a dream. Draco stayed by Harry's side a little while longer. Before he got up, Draco leaned forward and kissed Harry's forehead while whispering, "I love you Harry." Draco grabbed another blanket and curled up on the other couch. While Draco fell asleep thinking of Harry, Harry was dreaming of Draco. Harry dreamt of what it would be like to be curled up in Draco's arms and hear the steady beating of his heart. He dreamt of what it would be like to look at someone with such love and know they returned those feelings. He dreamt of calling Draco his, because while the boys were talking, Harry had fallen for Draco. Between Draco's silvery blue eyes and his smile that could melt an iceberg, Harry had been doomed from the start. And Harry was okay with that.

When morning came, both boys were happy to see that the other was still there. As they conjured fresh robes Draco spoke first, "How'd you sleep? It looked like you having a nightmare at one point." Harry nodded, "Every night since Sirius died I've had the same nightmare. I see him getting hit by the curse and falling through that curtain, over and over. And all I hear is Bellatrix's crazed laugh. But tonight was different. I still had the nightmare but instead of it repeating like it normally does, it happened once and then changed into one of the best dreams I've ever had." "Really?" Draco replied. Then he asked, "What was it about? Because I had a really good dream too." All Harry could do was blush. Quickly he turned away from Draco who raised an eyebrow. "I'll tell you later, if I don't get to breakfast Ron and Hermione will worry." Harry began to walk towards the door but Draco grabbed his hand. "Promise me that if you ever start feeling the way you did yesterday you'll come and find me." Draco said as he looked into Harry's eyes. Harry's heart was beating so loud he swore Draco could hear it. All the sudden Harry rushed into Draco's arms and hugged him. This took Draco aback, but his shock was quickly replaced by joy as he hugged Harry back. Harry pulled his head back but didn't let go of the blonde boy. He smiled at Draco and said, "I promise."


End file.
